the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize