It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
