u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
