no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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