I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
