I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
