so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
This is the high leading the old right now
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
