first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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