he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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