i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
