you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
