So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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