just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
