wrigley field is MILF paradise
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she told me i tasted like america
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
