I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i think my tv is drunk
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize