I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
it was like eating out sand paper
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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