So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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