Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize