wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
