I faked an abortion last night.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
