alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
