She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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