i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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