he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
