who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
