Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my sisters under your porch take her home
Did I show you my penis last night?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
