i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
