I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
