She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
