and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
