so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
