No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize