No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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