im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
