Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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