Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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