Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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