I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
