Me. At least after what I've been through.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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