Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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