Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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