I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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