As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
