I want to have your abortion
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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