Her vagina should come with caution tape.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
