Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
