did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize