you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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