In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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