K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
there was a trapeze. enough said
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize