How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
try to milk me bitch
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
