So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
