I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We have started to decorate penises.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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