oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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