discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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