Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Randomize
