...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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