I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
