Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
