spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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