I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
