Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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