You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
