She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
