I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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