it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
