she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
