I wish I could teleport
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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