worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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