Moan for me like Helen Keller
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
