It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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