508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize