just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize